Role of the Meeting
This guidance sets out expectations for positive and respectful behaviour in meetings. Meetings are an important forum for bringing together individuals with different areas of expertise, as well as varying levels of seniority and experience, to discuss a specific issue, share perspectives, and reach informed decisions.
Their value depends on creating an environment where all participants feel respected and able to contribute. By listening openly, engaging constructively, and treating one another with courtesy and professionalism, we can ensure meetings are inclusive, effective, and focused on achieving their intended purpose.
Please download, display and discuss this Respectful Inclusive meeting slide at the beginning of meeting to help establish expectations.
- Role of the Chair
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The meeting chair is responsible for:
- Setting the tone for a focused, positive, and respectful meeting
- Clarifying the purpose and desired outcomes
- Managing time and keeping discussion on track
- Encouraging balanced participation from all attendees
- Upholding expected standards of behaviour
- Ensuring all participants feel able to contribute effectively
- Participant expectations
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All participants are expected to contribute in a constructive and respectful way. This includes being prepared, engaging with the topic, listening actively, and respecting different viewpoints and levels of experience. Professional disagreement is welcome and supports open dialogue and better outcomes. Some good practise to consider includes:
Active Listening
- Avoid interruptions and allow others to complete their thoughts
- Show verbal and non‑verbal engagement
- Listen to understand, not just to respond
- Where appropriate have cameras on if online or hybrid
Constructive Engagement
- Contribute relevant and focused input
- Challenge ideas thoughtfully rather than individuals
- Express disagreement professionally and respectfully
Inclusive Language
- Use clear, respectful language
- Be mindful of different perspectives, roles, and levels of experience
- Support participation so all voices feel able to contribute
Be Present
- Minimise distractions such as side conversations or device checking
- Stay focused on the meeting’s purpose
Be Open
- Respect different viewpoints
- Assume positive intent from colleagues
- Seek clarification before responding to avoid misunderstanding or conflict
- Ways to tackle unacceptable behaviour
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There are many ways in which you can constructively challenge and address behaviour in a meeting:
In the meeting (if you feel comfortable to do so)
- Where possible, address inappropriate behaviour promptly to prevent escalation and minimise impact on others.
- Be calm and neutral - Respond respectfully and professionally, focusing on the behaviour rather than the individual.
- Name the behaviour clearly - Describe what has been observed (for example, interrupting others or off‑topic comments) without judgement or assumptions.
If you feel uncomfortable you may wish to private message the chair during the meeting and ask them to intervene.
After the meeting
If you didn’t feel comfortable addressing the issue during the meeting or if behaviour continues or is more serious you could address the issue directly by:
- following up privately after the meeting rather than in front of others. Consider saying “I’d like to give you feedback on something that came up in the meeting.”
- Give the individual an opportunity to reflect on their behaviour and agree constructive ways forward.
Alternatively you could arrange a meeting to discuss the issue with the meeting chair, your line manager, HR partner or a member of the Workplace Dignity Network.
Please visit Dignity at Work and Study toolkit for additional guidance on:
- Informal approach to dealing with unacceptable behaviour
- Dealing with difficult conversations
- Formal approach to dealing with unacceptable behaviour
- Helpful language you could use address unacceptable behaviour
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If you feel able to do so, as a participant, there are some things you can say to address behaviours in a meeting:
“I’d like to finish my point, please.”
“I don’t feel I’m being heard - could I complete what I was saying?”
“I’m not comfortable with how that was phrased.”
“Can we keep this discussion respectful and focused on the issue?”
“Let’s return to the topic rather than personal comments.”
“I’m happy to discuss this, but not in this tone.”
“I’m open to challenge, but I’d like it to be constructive.”
“Chair, could you support me in completing my point?”
“It would be helpful if we could reset the discussion.”
- Guidance for Chairs
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As a chair it can be difficult to address behaviour which does not meet the expected standards. To help this, we have some phrases which can be used to help reset meetings and behaviour in a professional and respectful way:
“I would like to ensure that everyone has the opportunity to contribute – let’s allow others to finish their point”
Use when voices overlap or one person is dominating the meeting. This gently restores equitable turn taking. “Let’s keep the discussion focused on the issue, not the individual”
Redirects from personal comments to shared goals; protects relationships “Can we pause for a moment? I want to make sure we’re speaking to each other respectfully. If that does not happen it impacts us all”
Creates space to de-escalate tone and language without blame “I’m noticing we’re talking over one another – can we take turns so all voices can be heard?”
Reinforces meeting structure and fairness “I can hear that this is an important point. Let’s approach it in a way that keeps the conversation constructive”
Validate concerns and guides the meeting towards solutions “Thank you - I’m going to hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet.”
“We’ve heard your view; let’s get another perspective.”
Supports an inclusive discussion “I’m not comfortable with the tone of this discussion - let’s reset.”
Creates a space to de-escalate and/or redirect the discussion Sometimes you may need to be more assertive if a meeting gets heated. Below are some phrases which can be used to address unacceptable behaviour:
“I am not sure if it was intended, but that comment came across as rude/dismissive. Did you mean it that way?”
Facilitates the colleague to evaluate their tone and behaviour “Let’s take a moment. Challenge and discussion are one thing, but it is not okay to speak to people in this way, however emotive and impactful the topics are”
Resets expectations of behaviour and de-escalates the situation “It is not okay to speak to people in this way. Please take a moment to consider how you can express your concerns in an appropriate way”
Resets expectations of behaviour and de-escalates the situation “People can’t contribute when the tone of the meeting descends in this way. Please be mindful of your colleagues when addressing the meeting”
Reinforces meeting expectations “How we speak to each other matters. We can disagree on the facts without being disrespectful. Please speak to your colleague politely”
Validates concerns and guides the meeting towards solutions Where necessary, as chair you may decide to pause the discussion, redirect conversation, or ask for comments to be taken offline.
After the meeting (private follow‑up)
- “I’d like to give you feedback on something that came up in the meeting.”
Provides the opportunity to discuss concerns and find a solution
- “When interruptions occurred, it limited others’ ability to contribute. How can we approach this differently next time?”
Provides the opportunity to discuss concerns and find a solution
If behaviour is repeated or serious
Concerns should be documented and addressed in line with organisational policies, with escalation where appropriate.
- Short online modules
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There are several Short Online Modules which address how to have difficult conversations, how to deal with unacceptable behaviour and the impact that it has on colleagues. These courses enable staff to learn at a time which suits them and can be accessed here.
Examples of recommended courses are:
Course Title
Section
Course length
Problematic Behaviour
1 hour
Problematic Behaviour
30 minutes
Problematic Behaviour
15 minutes
Problematic Behaviour
15 minutes
Personal Effectiveness
1 hour
Personal Effectiveness
15 minutes
Communication
30 minutes
Communication
30 minutes