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Elphinstone Kist   Sport and Leisure

The Gowff     by: Mackie, Dr. Lewis

(With apologies to Dr. George McDonald)

I’ll tell you a story, its surely nae fiction
For George, Frank an I have got this affliction
Some ca’ it a game bit its mair an’ addiction
Its oor gowff.

Ach Frank is an expert in playin’ this game,
An noo he’s retired he can practice at hame
Bit Helen’s nae worried for she’s jist the same
Plagued wi’ gowff.

As for George an’ masel, we jist struggle alang
It’s rarely we play like the words o’ the sang,
“Straight down the middle’s” nae far we belang
Nae oor gowff!

Noo Margaret’s fair sure she can conquer the links,
She’s tryin real hard tae iron oot kinks,
She compleens that it’s a’ oor instruction that stinks.
That game gowff!

Bit George an’ I stand by the experience o’ years
An’ accept that puir Faldo need niver hae fears
That we’ll cause him naething bit merriment tears
At oor gowff!

So George, you an’ I oor drives we will treasure
As iron aifter iron on the fairway we measure
An’ we’ll hae oor postmortems an’ still tak great pleasure
In oor gowff!

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