First aff, I gae intae the office fur a cup o tea an a baker's rowie. Then I check oot the bus tae see the tyres are hale an there are tickets in the machines, an I change far it's gaun on the bus screen. Dinna forget far yer gaun! Efter that, I drive the bus oot ontae the main road. A bus driver should aye try tae myne an nae speed...Ye've aye tae watch oot fur inspectors.
In the weet a bus can skyte aa ower the place, especially ower the cobble steens. Mony a time ma hairt's bin doon in ma beets in the weet. Ye've aye tae watch the weather. The worst time tae drive is at the rush oor. Yer rinnin tae a timetable. Ye've fyles tae drive like a kamikazi pilot then. Anither coorse kinna time is fin the pubs come oot. Ye've tae humour drunks. Ye'd be daft tae argy an risk stertin a fecht. Sometimes, they faa asleep on the bus. Sometimes they spew on the bus, or they use it as a lavvie. It can rin aa ower the fleer like a tidal wave. Nae verra fine! Some stink!
Schulebairns write on seats, an stick chuddy on them. Ye get a lot o chikk frae schulebairns sometimes, bit ye jist hae tae pit up wi't. It's aa part o the job. They bring tins o ale ontae the bus, drink them, an throw them aboot fin yer drivin. Eence, a drunk punched the side o ma bus
. . . they think ye should let them on at the lichts. He gied it a fair wallop. It's a winner he didna brakk his haun. Mebbe he did. I didna stop tae fin oot. I've hid steens an snabaas thrown at the bus, aa sorts.
Sometimes I've liked bein a bus driver...I liked it fin I did country runs. Sometimes, tho, it's a nichtmare o a job. Ye canna relax fur a meenit, watchin the traffic, rinnin tae time, mynin the timetables if they change, an coontin the fares o the passengers, wi ae ee on the road. It's nae as easy as lots o fowk seem tae think!