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Elphinstone Kist   Doric Verse

The Learner     by: Addison, Hazel L. R.

The wyes o’ life wir changin
So there wis naething else tae dae,
I’d hae tae learn computing
Wi aa this high technology,
So I jint a new beginner’s class
At the start o’ the winter term,
Tae see if maybe my aul brain
Aboot I.T. cwid learn.

I sat there in a classroom
Wi aboot a dizen ithers,
A mixter o’ some single quines
Some faithers an some mithers,
Bit I wis the only Granny
An of coorse my brain wis slow,
Bit they gaed me aa encouragement
Jist tae sit an hae a go.

The teacher she caam ower an speirt
If I hid a floppy disc,
I felt a roon aboot my ribs
Said “no, aathing feels aa richt”,
“Fit aboot yer softwear?”
She speirt without a smile,
“Oh it’s aa fine an saaft,” I said
“I’ve used comfort for a fyle”.

She tell’t me tae caa doon the switch,
Log on an type my name,
I shook my heid an said “nae logs”
It’s gas we hae at hame,
Naebody mentioned logs tae me
Fin I caam here tae enrol,
If I’d thocht t’wid as caul as eis
I cwid o’ got some coal.


The teacher gaed her heid a claa
An said “lets try again”,
Jist pit yer finger on the mouse
An click there on yer name,
“Oh I’ll nae hudd ony moose,” I said
An got up on the cheir,
Fa wid o’ thocht computing
Cwid full ye wi sic fear.


The teacher lookit up at me
An said “there’s nae moose here”,
She wis aboot tae help me doon
Fin scuttlin ower the fleer
Caam a little furry beastie
An gaed slinkin roon her feet,
So she jumpit up aside me
An near caa’d me aff my seat.

We steed an clung the gither
‘Twas a sorry sicht tae see,
Syne she put her airm aroon me
An said sae earnestly
“If ye wint tae learn computing
Let’s hae jist ae mair try”,
Bit I jist put my jacket on
An waved them aa good-bye.



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