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Elphinstone Kist   Doric Verse, Health, Family and Home

Farewell Tae Yer Bunions     by: McKenna, Betty

Rabbie Burns, oor Scottish bard,
A wise an very thoughtfu lad
Wrote aboot a lot o things
Baith beautiful an sad.

He even wrote o ailments
That afflict the human frame
Like teethache an the 'rheumatics'
An ithers I could name.

I've nae dispute wi Rabbie -
For he surely knew his onions.
Bit o ae thing I am certain -
He didna hae a bunion!

I'm sure he wid hae penned a line
If he'd haen a muckle tae like mine
Red an throbbin in yer shee
Gars the tears cam tae yer ee.

Rakin roon a dizzen shops
For safter things tae wear
Nae for us the platform clog
Or ither modern gear.

Sittin in the bus, fair beat,
Ye carefully tuck in yer feet,
An, sure enough some muckle lump
Will clammer ower't an giet a thump,

Bit Rabbie, dinna fash yersel,
They've hit upon a cure
Tho' it's nae as quick as drawin teeth
The effect is jist as sure

They stick ye on a table
An produce a muckle 'aix' -
In your days Frenchies used it
For chappin thro' folks' necks!

Twa guid whacks - an there ye are -
Nae a lump in view
Jist wite until the boys clap eyes
On smart-shod, sexy you!

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